Anxious Met Avoidant

I made up my mind to have a dedicated blog regarding “Anxious met Avoidant”. This is a personal story and experience. So if you think like “that's not Anxious enough” or “that's not Avoidant enough” or “you should leave her!”, then definitely this blog is not for you.

Before jumping in, this post is an introduction so you will know a bit on what I will post here. Most of it are random things that happened between us, an Anxious and an Avoidant. By the way, we are no longer together. But occassionally we still keep in touch, and we might tell you more about it.

In case this blog doesn't post anything new, it means that there are nothing new between us. Or rather be like we have become a total stranger to each other. So, while it last, I want to store it as a memory here so one day I can look it back and smile a bit.

I am a man, somewhere around 25 to 30, an anxious. She is a woman, somewhere around 22 to 25, an avoidant.

How do I know if I am an anxious? I tried filling in detailed questionnaire from attachment specialist, and the result are always same, an anxious.

While she said herself that she is an avoidant. I am not sure where did she get to know it, but I can see all the avoidant flags along her words.

I will tell you in the next post how do we met. So until then, enjoy and thanks for reading!

You read it right and I know that these two are rarely put into the same sentence together. Well actually she joined the group first, so I can't say that “she came like a storm”. But then I joined the group as a mild wind, that was my expectation. But apparently everyone make a storm out of my participation in the group.

Her flirt was a casual flirt, like a girl who “passionately” fall in love with someone. Which I never bother at the first place, since I know that we are both unknown to each other. There is no way someone fall into me without us talking to each other at the first place.

Let's do some overview on the technical group. It was a web3 group actually, but it's not something related to dev. Apparently, it's not always about technical discussion. So often times I saw discussion about skincare, food, and literally anything. It made me get comfortable quickly with the group.

At some point, her flirt somehow pushed me to be more active in the group. It's like now everyone kinda hook her and I together. That way, it put me in a situation where I had to show myself more. At that time I didn't really care with the hook up, I just go with the vibe. So I become a “speaker” few times and shared about my perspective as a dev and auditor.

Long story short, she got into a hot “fight” with one of the group founder, then she deleted her account. At that time, I feel like I've lost her as the member of the group. If I recall correctly, basically the founder was “mocking” her for not actively working on the rest member of the group is working on. I didn't work on that either anyway. Usually, we shrug it off and move on. But she decided to get on the debate, and both of them keep doing it for a while.

That was basically this episode of Flirty Girl and Technical Group. I am not sure if I should continue the story here, or on another post since it's a bit no longer relevant to “technical group” again. So we are going to see it on another post, see ya around!